Interview with Joan Schunck, a Mental Health Counselor who Specializes in Grief

As a grief and loss coach my work focuses on compassionate solution-focused strategies to help cope with and grow self compassion through grief and loss. My work can complement the work of a mental health counselor who specializes in grief. While our approaches may be different we share something in common: we believe that any individual has the capacity to use their loss experience to transform some part of them for a new life filled with hope and possibility, recognizing that it is okay to be wherever you are at in the process of your grief, including depression, stress, self doubt, and fatigue, for example. 

In this article, I interview Joan Schunck, grief and loss counselor located here in Colorado. In a future blog, I will introduce more about my work as a grief and loss coach to keep nuancing the similarities and differences between grief counseling and grief coaching. Whether it is coaching, counseling, spiritual work, body work, or other resource utilization, having a better understanding of your experience with grief can help you embark on your life journey with confidence, compassion, and hope.  

What got you into this work?

Four years ago, I made a career change from the education field to pursue my Masters in mental health counseling and my licensure as a Licensed Professional Counselor. I went into counseling because of the counselors and therapists who have helped me throughout my life and my desire to help others in a similar way. I did my internship providing grief counseling at The Denver Hospice and I found that this work called to me in a unique way. I am honored by the opportunity to hold space for people as they navigate their grief journey.

How do you define grief? Loss? Grief and loss?

I define grief as the lifelong response to a significant loss. My clients typically are grieving a death loss, but we can grieve many types of significant losses, including the loss of a relationship, loss of a job, loss of a home, or loss of our identity or sense of self. We respond to loss with grief, which is the complex mix of feeling a wide range of emotions, longing for what was lost, trying to make sense of the loss, adjusting to life after the loss, and evolving our beliefs about the world and ourselves.

For a typical client, what does grief and loss counseling look like?

In a first session with a new client, I always focus first on hearing the client’s story, including the story of the loss and the client’s experiences that prompted them to seek counseling. From hearing the client’s story, I begin to understand the client’s unique needs and together we agree on goals for counseling. In future sessions, the client and I explore particular aspects of the client’s grief, so the client can integrate their grief into a cohesive vision of themselves and the world.

How do some of the counseling theories you use inform the work you do with your clients?

I draw primarily on three theories of counseling: Alan Wolfelt’s theory of companioning the mourner and the six needs of mourners; Alfred Adler’s theory of individual psychology, and attachment theory. I use Dr. Wolfelt’s theory to conceptualize each client’s unique grief journey and how I can be a helpful companion along the way. I incorporate Adlerian theory to help my clients explore how social connections can be a source of healing after a loss, and attachment theory helps us identify patterns in how the client forms close relationships with others.

What are small steps someone can take to heal from their grief?

The most important thing someone can do is to acknowledge the profound impact that grief has on them, including their physical and mental wellbeing, day-to-day activities, sense of identity and purpose, and social relationships. By acknowledging the toll grief takes on us, we can begin to invite support from others and give love and compassion to ourselves.

What is the most difficult thing about grief?

I think the most difficult thing about grief is the acceptance of the painful truth that we are vulnerable beings in an unpredictable world.

What is the most hopeful thing about grief?

I think the most hopeful thing about grief is the opportunity to develop a deeper appreciation of our gifts and blessings.

What do you do if you feel isolated in your grief? And/or what do you do if you start to self isolate?

Diminished interest in social interactions and a greater desire to be alone is a normal part of grief, and grieving individuals should give themselves permission to listen to their need for solitude. I think solitude can start to cross into isolation when we find ourselves longing for social connection and feeling somehow blocked off from connection. The most important thing to do when this happens is to reach out - whether that’s to a friend or family member that you know will support you or to a trusted advisor, like your doctor, spiritual leader, or mental health professional. If you feel like you have no one to turn to, grief groups in your area can offer support, and never hesitate to call 988 if you find yourself in crisis.

How has COVID impacted grief and loss?

COVID raised awareness of our vulnerability as humans and the ubiquity of grief and loss, and created more opportunities to talk about these facets of life, although a stigma about talking about death certainly remains. The pandemic also interrupted grief and mourning rituals, such as the ability to say goodbye to a dying person or have an in person celebration of life, and many people have the need to do what Alan Wolfelt calls “catch up mourning,” or the processing of a loss that you could not grieve appropriately at the time that it occurred.

Joan Schunck is a grief and loss counselor in private practice in Arvada, Colorado, serving individuals aged 12 and up. Joan has a Master of Arts in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from the University of Colorado at Denver and she is a Licensed Professional Counselor Candidate in the state of Colorado.  Joan lives in Wheat Ridge, Colorado with her husband, their three children, and two dogs. Joan is available for clients in Colorado. To learn more about Joan’s practice and appointment availability, visit www.jtscounseling.com.

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You are love and light, even in the darkness, even in the most painful parts of your life.